Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
