I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
