did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
