i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
