is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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