Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
