therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
