I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
