I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
