Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
