We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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