I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
