Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's not a walk of shame if you run
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
