I just pynch a tree in the face
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
