Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
