it was like eating out sand paper
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
