he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
