White coat. Heels.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
