my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Terrible idea I love it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
