But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sober January is a disaster.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
