Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
