She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
