He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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