Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
