I am in a vortex of obligation.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
