He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
