Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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