he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
