The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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