you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
pray to the hookup gods
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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