I faked an abortion last night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
