I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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