Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
