somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
