I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
