what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
