Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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