My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
