I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
