Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
