its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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