ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
