You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
