Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
