my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize