Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
