We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
