it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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