but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
