I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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