the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
