I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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